Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Mensa Or Burst

I have moved to, and i have also migrated all posts and comments. YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE SO CHANGE YOUR BOOKMARLS/BLOGROLLS ACCORDINGLY!!!!
I don't know about you, but I deeply resent having my intelligence insulted by those ladies and gentlemen masquerading as leaders. Going through their utterances over the past month raises issues that beggar further exploration

Minister: Hee haw!! All Clay is trying to do is paint this Government as corrupt, so that the Government is perceived to be corrupt
M: Clay is not painting you as corrupt nitwit! YOU ARE!! Stop stealing our money and you will not be painted as corrupt

Minister: Moo!! He is looking after British Interests!
M: Of course he is moron! I like to think that is what all Kenyan ambassadors in other countries do! Or whose interests do they look after?

Minister: Baa!!! It is just colonial talk! Who is he to tell us about our affairs?
M: The truth is the truth is the truth. You cannot hide your thieving fingers and stuffed fat face behind a mask of patriotism!

Minister: Woof woof! Those calling on their colleagues to resign are thenceforth corrupt
M: Your only remaining neuron must have been working overtime to come up with that one

Minister: Oink Oink!! These are machinations of powerful enemies out to malign my name
M: That's right oaf. Never mind that you admitted receiving favours under dubious circumstances, and never mind the evidence published in the local press backing up the allegations

Minister:Loar!! Loar!! It's been blown out of proportion. A scandal that never was. I mean, the money was returned
M: Spoken like a true custodian of justice, law and order. This is a great day for all thieves, crooks and conmen. Return everything that you stole and you're good to go!

Minister: Show us evidence and we will act. Until then everyone is innocent
  • Whose work is it to collect evidence?
  • What about them judges in your purge on the judiciary? They were guilty first huh?
  • Following that two cent logic, you could only be arrested if you have already been proven guilty

Minister: What we're doing is setting up institutions to fight corruption
M: And doing excellently! Last count they were 11. ELEVEN!!!

Minister: Eradicating corruption takes time....
M: At the pace you sloths are moving by the time you charge any big fish man will have evolved to have a second head and a tail, and the world will have 14 continents

Minister: Moo!! There will be no sacred cows
M: That's rich, from a Cabinet staffed almost entirely with these bovines!

Head Of State: I am firmly .... firmly in cha ... in char... in charge.... Zzzzzzzzzzzz!

A hippo was run over by a matatu and thousands of Kenya bent on getting some free meat descended upon the carcass with knives, machetes and pangas. The more desperate ones had nail clippers and bottle openers. The most desperate used tried and tested Jet Li moves to kick the heck out of their competition in the haste to secure the free meat. In the melee an unfortunate soul was stabbed

I've told you a million times -- don't exaggerate!

Miss K & Mama JunkYard - Kwani siku hizi email mnalipa stamps?


"Watch your mouth today nitwit! You're no Bernie Mac!" Archbishop Rapahel Ndingi leaves Justice & Constitutional Affairs Minister Kiraitu Murungi in no doubt as to what he thinks of his humour

G-Unit - Stunt 101